Before I Die

No. This is not the book jacket. It is simply what I was doing during the last pages of Before I Die, by Jenny Downham.

Tess has leukemia. She's had it for four years, the treatments aren't working all that well, and frankly...she's sick of it all.

Being sixteen, she has come up with a list of things to do before she dies. The first thing on the list is sex. She lets her friend Zoey in on the list and recruits her in her mission. Zoey doesn't even blink. This is what Tess loves about Zoey. She's the only one, that since Tess got sick, still treats her the same.

Sex, however, is only one of the things on Tess' list, and as life moves on, Tess' list morphs, and surprisingly gets longer.

Her life is complicated by her dad, who just wants to save her, her mum, who doesn't live home or attend treatments, and her changing feelings for Adam, the boy next door.

I wasn't sure I wanted to read this so close on the heels of Thirteen Reasons Why, but I am glad I did. Since I read this is arc format, I don't want to give too much plot away, but I think Jenny Downham has done an amazing job of bringing Tess' struggles to life. I love the fact that during much of the book Tess is indeed, unlikeable. She is real and raw. She is going through things that all teens struggle with, and the fact that she has cancer, while devastating, is only part of the story.

Total Constant Order

I was delighted when I received this title in the mail.

Fin's life has changed so much in the last year. Her dad dragged her family from Vermont down to Florida, and to top it off, her folks split. Fin doesn't know how to fit into her Miami highschool, and consequently is ostracized.

To cope, she counts. Count, and counts, and counts. Some numbers are lucky. Whether they are even or odd makes a difference as well.

Her relationship with her mother is strained. Her mom brings her to

see a shrink who thinks that Paxil will be the answer to all the problems. It's not. The drug makes everything worse.

Fin connects with her school's weird kid, Thayer, after seeing him at her shrink's office. Thayer tells her about Ritalin, tagging, manatees...he's the only one that gives Fin the time of day. The problem is, Thayer's not exactly on solid ground himself.

Crissa Jean Chappell has written a sensative account of the lonliness and distress that disorders such as OCD bring to those who suffer. In our society today, too many folks joke about these things. Comments like "What are you? ADD?" fly around lunchrooms and libraries without a second thought. Perhaps Total Constant Order can open some eyes.